Christmas news letter
This is our first Christmas without our precious daughter McKennah Nicole. It is not the same without her spunky, and often hilarious presence. who most importantly desired to see God use her life to impact others.
In every step she bravely took, McKennah did the best she could to be the hands and feet of Jesus; her Savior.
Our Christmas Card
2021 has been a stressful year for so many of you too. I know we are not the only ones that have had a death of someone dear to them.
I wanted to offer a glimpse of where we are on now; and how Ray, I and Nik are doing as we approach our first holiday season without our sweet daughter and sister.
First, let me say, Christmas last year was difficult; not just because we were not able to celebrate the holidays with health and happiness or because her journeys end was in sight..... But because McKennah was holding on to life in order to make a last flight back Illinois and Grandpa’s farm for what was probably her last Christmas trip.
(FRONT)
And as I write this I’m not sure how I am truly going handle my feelings this season. Getting on a plane without her and trying to have a family celebration with such a huge hole in our hearts and lives. Honestly, I can’t leave my thoughts in a hole of despair. If you read the scripture at the bottom of your card it will help you to know where we found our healing. I recently attended a grief class on surviving the holidays after a loved ones passing. As I left the class I was so struck by the other parents that had lost a child because they all told who they lost and how long it had been. For nearly all it had been more than 5 years. One women had lost a daughter 17 years ago and she was more broken than we were, and we were the only ones that it was less than a year. I don't believe you ever will forget the pain but I am confident that Jesus wants us to heal and reflect to this world what his healing looks like. You have a choice to let Him take your pain.
The message this Christmas post brings is Real HOPE and an update on how our family is facing this Season. Maybe this will help some of you manage your own losses.
This letter was partially inspired by my struggle to figure out what do I put on our Christmas picture card this year. It may seem a small thing but it’s such a reminder of the missing piece of our hearts. I came to a design decision and I have included my finished card here.
I have been thinking about giving an update for awhile. I know so many people became not only interested in our family’s journey but many of you shared a part in it as well. (BACK)
There were countless people all over the world who prayed for our daughter’s healing and our family while seeking the best medical care we could find. There were those who donated to more than one fundraiser. Plus, those who sent her multiple care boxes and gifts to cheer her up. We didn’t always feel the support when we were up all night in hospital rooms holding her down while she was shivering from repeated doses of toxic chemo treatments. Standing with her while she was getting her hair shaved off. And holding her hand while waiting for her to recover from another brain surgery but I know your prayers and love got us through.
Most importantly I am confident that McKennah is rejoicing with her grand parents who have gone to be with our Heavenly Father before her. No pain, no fear, no tears and no cancer.
I share this not to make you feel sad but to share just how difficult it was. And there is a least one person that I know right now who is dealing with a similar ordeal.
If you have been through something similar you know how utterly exhausting this is in every way and every day. And recovering from such a long marathon of care for someone takes a lot of time. There is an enormous toll both mentally and even physically.
So what are the Carter’s up to now you wonder?
First off, Ray and I are staying in San Diego. We can’t imagine moving back where all our family memories were made. We have some pretty special friends there but my family is here, and most importantly many of McKennah’s friends are here. We have been so blessed and supported by everyone here.
Ray is involved at our church with usher duties and I sing on our church platform for service. We both attend outreaches when we can. He was blessed with a good paying job during the COVID shut down. Which allowed us to afford a nice rental. His mother is now battling a cancer diagnosis as well. We have had to make several trips to the Midwest.
As for me I was very sad to have to leave Southwest airlines in June but there was no room for me in the San Diego station, but I have begun working for a local plumber doing payroll and invoicing.
I definitely miss my SWA co-workers and the travel benefits. We have McKennah's dog, Indy here with us and he keeps us very busy with long walks on the various dog beaches here in SoCal. God has given us things to be grateful for, McKennah always knew that being back in my home state of California was good for me. I missed it more than I realized.
Nik had a rough time returning to basic training right after McKennah passed, wasn't even able to attend his sister's burial but he was at the memorial service. He then went on to his job training in TX where he stayed for 6 months. His training is finally over and he is back with the Oregon National Guard at the Portland airport. Next step for him is finishing his last your of collage to complete his Bachelors in History. He has gain a lot of favor at the guard unit and the commander who are very impressed with his skills. This has made it so they are finding full-time work for him even though he is only a "weekend warrior". He is also serving not just attending a church in the Portland area, in Gresham. Ray and I couldn't be more proud of him.
What is next for McKennah's blog?
A very kind person decided to make a donation to this blog and renewed the cost to keep it up and running for the next year. There is so much of McKennah's heart and wisdom that we want to continue to share her journey and my insights. My hope is that this blog would still find its way to anyone who is struck with life situations where finding HOPE seems impossible. You can still get copies of McKennah's watercolor paintings. The Carters, we are keeping our eyes on heaven when we will be re-united with our precious daughter and sister.
McKennah Nicole Carter
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