Where the Journey Begins...

It’s crazy to imagine that almost three months ago now I was sitting in the ER, exhausted from waiting around all night, when a doctor I had never seen before walked into my room and told me abruptly that an MRI had found lesions on my brain. With those words he walked out and I never saw him again.

Leading up to this moment, you would of never guessed I had been sick. If you know me, you would know that I am a lover of a wide variety of things. I love being outdoors, music, traveling, art, pistachio ice cream, and JESUS. And on top of that, I LOVE being busy. I never miss an opportunity to be constantly involved in something or going somewhere! If I have time to relax or sleep then there is something wrong with me! But I have always loved my outgoing and active lifestyle.

Two weeks prior to my ER trip, I came back from a trip to see a friend in New Mexico with a little bump on my head, and feeling pretty drained. On top of that I had a massive headache and flu-like symptoms. I just thought my busy lifestyle was catching up with me until finally, my symptoms worsened and I couldn’t take it any longer. That’s when I drove to the ER at 1:00 am on June 27th.

My dad and I sat stunned by the news. To be honest, I didn’t even blink. I could not comprehend what was exactly happening...What did he mean, “lesions on my brain"? This was how clueless I was. I didn’t even know what “lesions” were and how that would change my life. Feelings of unbelief flooded my mind. After being diagnosed with stage 1b melanoma almost exactly a year ago, I had a miraculous recovery. The thought never crossed my mind that it would viciously return like this. After that news, I waited around for hours without a single person coming to explain what could possibly be happening to me right now. But at that point I didn’t have the energy to care. Sometime later that morning we received the news that another MRI revealed that I had tumors in my lungs, liver, bones, and lymph nodes all across my body. Without needing to run any tests, we knew it was most definitely cancer. Within that first day, I received enough bad news to last me a lifetime. And I don’t say this to receive pity, but to help explain the bombardment of negative and detrimental news that hit me within a 6 hour period of time. In one day, I went from being a very outgoing and active person, to being very sick.

But somehow, through the shock, the pain, and the concern, God strategically placed a verse that lingered in the back of my mind. “My thoughts are nothing like your thoughts,” says the Lord. “And my ways are far beyond anything you could imagine.” ‭‭Isaiah‬ ‭55:8‬. I couldn’t imagine how or why this was happening.. let alone if it was really happening! But I knew that God had a plan. Of course I am human and there were moments where I felt scared, but I truly believe there was a covering over me that kept me from fear during this time. After the initial discovery, and the 4 days spent in the hospital, then came the scramble to begin treatments.

One thing to know about melanoma is that it doesn’t respond to treatments like chemo therapy or radiation. That’s why it can be especially hard to kick after it’s metastasized. My doctor recommended gamma knife radiation for the tumors in my brain and immunotherapy to treat the cancer in the rest of my body. Without seeking a second opinion or questioning the reasons we pressed forward. When you're 18 years old and you go through something like this, it's hard to truly comprehend how serious the situation is. So, my reaction was to put my trust in the doctors. The problem is the doctors never told me how far along I was or what the risk was, the survival rate... nothing! I truly believe I was given false hope, that everything was fine and that I would be fine. But those were not the facts. The facts are: I have stage 4 metastatic melanoma. Facts are that 15% of people that are diagnosed with what I have are alive 5 years after they were diagnosed. But, I pressed on with the recommended treatments and immediately following getting discharged from the hospital, I had the gamma knife radiation. Then came the immunotherapy. During this time, my health deteriorated rapidly. I felt so sick and weak almost all the time and my liver began to experience some swelling.

For those of you that don’t know, immunotherapy is a newer cancer treatment that boosts your immune system to help you fight off the cancer. But, the body can sometimes overcompensate and not only attack the cancerous cells but can also attack the healthy cells. This is exactly what happened to me. For 3 days I ate and drank nothing because the swelling in my liver became so severe and painful. Finally, I went to the cancer care clinic where they immediately admitted me. I stayed in the hospital for 7 days.

During this time I developed acute hepatitis and my liver swelled up the size of my abdomen. I was moved to the MCU (a higher care unit because of how severe my condition was) until I received a parenthesis and the swelling went down in my liver. After this experience, I knew I never wanted to experience that again. It didn’t make sense to me that a treatment that was intended to make me well made me feel worse! In fact, it worsened my condition. So, I opened my mind to more naturopathic treatments. And that brings us to now, as I spent 3 weeks in a naturopathic cancer clinic in Mexico, finding myself getting stronger every day! And it’s not just any cancer clinic. Hope for Cancer is an encouraging place where they believe God has given us all the tools we need to get well.

Emotionally, spiritually, and physically. Now that I am home I have refused immunotherapy for the time being and continue to do the gamma knife radiation for the tumors in my brain. It really is amazing what God is doing here. And this is just the start of my story!

Quickly, there are 3 things I know for certain:

1. Someday we are all going to stand before God and be judged on account of what we did on earth. And one thing I cannot fathom is going through all this, without the hope that there will come a day when I see Jesus' face. There will come a day where we will enter into a place where the the Bible says, “He will wipe every tear from their eyes, and there will be no more death or sorrow or crying or pain. All these things are gone forever.” The forgiveness and grace I have found in a relationship with the one true God, has given me the assurance that at the end of all this lies a special place where those who choose to take up their cross, and follow him will find rest. 2. God had given me the strength to overcome this. And I have no doubt that through Him and His means of healing, victory will come! 3.God has allowed this to happen to not only help me grow, but in the process, reach others with my testimony so His name will be glorified through it all!

Glad I could catch you up, friends! Till next time!

If you have any questions about my condition, or my story, feel free to ask! I tried to convey all the important details without sounding like a medical report, but if I left anything out, let me know!!